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Review: Experiences Getting Coffee At The Store vs. Getting Coffee From A Storm Drain

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Review Of Store Coffee: Occasionally, I ask myself, is coffee truly worth it? Or would I actually want to drink coffee today? Starbucks is full of these interesting coffees, sometimes they're either extremely bad, just horrible, or masterpieces. The easiest, most pleasurable way to drink Starbucks Coffee is to go outside and pour it on your white, tennis shoes, that way it soaks in there and becomes brown. When you take a sniff of it, it smells like lavender and lots of caffeine, the shoe, of course, the coffee often smells like sweat and lots of milk. Although, often water is better than coffee because water STOPS terrorism. Stopping terrorism is a good cause, so I drink about 25 gallons of water per hour, whenever I take a piss, I go outside and let it out there, occasionally, I drink about 25 gallons of soda or lemonade. Whenever I want to let it out, I take a deep breath and let it all out on the toilet.

Stars: 3 out of 5

Review of Coffee In Storm Drain:

When I want actually good coffee, I wait for a really, good, rainy day, that's when you know the flavor is rich and healthy, and it gets you souped-up, and then lets you collapse on the ground until you wake up without any clothes on and in the middle of the street. Often I have vivid memories of going out with a straw, wearing a raincoat, reaching my hand into the sewers, and getting a whole lot of muck and dirt into my hand. I scoop this stuff into a cup, toss it into a blender, then drink with ice. Adding some chemicals such as Fentanyl, Cough Syrup, and Lead Paint really improves the flavor, when you drink it down, you begin to see the Ghosts of the Past, occasionally, you'll see Abraham Lincoln sitting next to you, but don't be fooled, it's only the Demon Beelzebub.

Stars: 5 out of 5

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Location: C335+8M Roscoe, IL, USA

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